Ravers Die, Too

          My heart rewrote its rhythm to match the bass that sent my skeleton rattling as we danced in a crowd of thousands. Fellow ravers were around us and the transfer of sweat, from one costumed freak to another, was uniting, bonding us as though we were fused together. If only for this song. But everyone seemed to be here for fun, and I couldn’t find a single business man. Others had it, but no one seemed to want to share, and I was in need. Weaving through them as they flung their bodies at one another, I parted the dancers and made my way through the thrumming people. Crisp candy coloured costumes blared their hues in techno tones. The strobes landed on them, only to skitter off to another raver, the light play was nearly brain bashing. The sinking feeling, of knowing when a rush is over was overwhelming, but distractions quickly drew me away and dozens of TV screens were shedding their hypnotic light onto the crowd demanding attention.

          I was crashing and my heart wasn't going to forgive me. Muscle seized speaking a
language of contractions as though it meant to wear it as the next fashion. But shock could wait. The crowd rippled with stressed anticipation. Hormones clicked off and thousands of legs bent to absorb impact as the realisation came like being in the eye of a hurricane as each understood the night wasn't ending well for one of us. Silence.

By the next heartbeat the music screamed through our ears as the throng of people up front slammed away from the DJ stage, pushing the rest of the ravers farther back. Black clad and lanky, one of the dancers front and centre collapsed, his form folding into itself. Beat by beat gravity drew his body to the earth. The lights laughed on and dared not take notice. Just as one song ended, the music paused and the lights landed on his quivering form. Liquid poured from his open mouth and his eyes were searching spastically but so empty. The sound came back with a fervent intensity that pulsed as though for the heart that was now crippled on the ground.

          A woman nearby shrieked, her scream rattled her vocal cords and the sound escaped, echoing into the music. She folded her knees and her body slammed down next to the boy. Her hands clasped one another and with rib cracking determination she forced them into his sternum. She sobbed and she pounded him, she choked on her whimpers and she pushed even harder. She cried, tears pooling, clouding her sight and the song raged on as she drummed the bones of his rib cage. Her thin body was beaten by those sobs and she heaved her weight onto those arms of hers. Fragile and thin, her weight allowed her hands to sink into his chest ever so slightly. The heart beneath gave no sign of life as the brain above began to deteriorate. Security, twenty strong, broke through the crowd seconds after he collapsed. Twitching stopped; his form was still as muscles relaxed and let go of the tension within him. And the song faded as the speakers pumped out a preset playlist as the Dj froze, shivering.

          The woman paused only to give him mouth-to-mouth through the bubbling foam of an o.d. Between the heaves that rattled her slender form she could hardly get enough air herself, let alone enough to resuscitate the man. Her body continued through the motions, adrenaline or some other drug, fueling her, providing energy she should not have had. Men with important uniforms attempted a sprint through the outer rings of the unsuspecting dancers. Their pace was slowed and deep commands vibrated instructions to move the fuck over. Heavy boots pounded past, thumping over glow sticks and strobe wands and layers of glitter turned dust. A small board turned into a stretcher and they fought to restrain the woman. She had white liquid around her lips as she screamed for them to let him be. She could save him. A broad-chested man enveloped her and he didn’t fight or even flinch as she pound her weakening fists on him. The guard watched with wet eyes as she drained herself of energy before he escorted her out. The man did not fight the neck brace as they stabilised him, did not notice the restraints. He was raised and carried out, his horizontal form parallel to the floor. He floated over the ground he had collapsed on, and the swarm of others only watched.

          Warmth met my hand and my lover’s fingers met mine slowly. His knuckles brushed mine and my hand felt alive once more. My hand, and nothing else. Finally, fingers entwined, he gave my frozen bones a squeeze, muscles gently pulsing until my own hand answered him back. He offered me a cigarette and fresh air, a view of the city while we walked off the shock. His voice was tepid as his tenor touched my ear. I nodded, arms shaking slightly and mumbled about how the stash was hacked. Nothing clean here, so we couldn’t buy anyway. He nodded and I let out a breath I didn't realised I'd been holding. Any excuse was good enough to get out of there. He wrapped his arm around me and led us outside. The foot traffic stared at our costumes in disgust and curiosity. We stared only at the stars, numb, as we filled our lungs with tar and city fumes.